January 2003

Dear Dale: I take care of myself. I am generally successful in life. I am not interested in men that have internal emotional wars waged against themselves. I am not turned on by good-looking men who build their lives exclusively around sex. I have felt frustrated about not meeting the right men. Recently I met someone who interests me. He told me that he has just begun dating someone else (not anyone I know) non-exclusively. He fancies dating me too, at the same time. I felt territorial, and said some things. I couldn’t face the pain of competition, so I basically said goodbye. My problem is that I may never meet another man like him. Did I do the right thing? – J.D. via e-mail from San Francisco

Dear J.D.: Exploration into love transforms us only to the extent that fear does not block us from pursuing our heart’s mission. So driven we become by what the mind wants in the future, that this moment ceases to be. Or it ceases to be on a conscious level; it simply becomes lost – we lose ourselves – behind fears that are illusions fabricated by our minds, caused by overanalyzing. Switch it off, and just be.*

Consciously accept the opportunity before you, and know that whether or not this candidate becomes your life-partner, your fears are insignificant compared to the powerful, ever-increasing light of love. Envision how much love you can show your new friend, and in how many different ways. Be neither obsessive nor possessive, rather be thoughtful, fun and romantic. Giving love grows it tenfold. The payback is not a result of what the mind wants; it derives from whether you walk through your fears and accept both the joy and pain that are consequences of pursuing love.

May the 2003 New Year fill your life, J.D., and those of all my readers, with progressive love, prosperity and grace. And may we all create the highest vision of ourselves in this moment.
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* The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle, has influenced me considerably. Thank you, Jim Boin, for recommending it.

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