March 2007
Dear Dale: I live in Duluth, Minnesota. My boss at work has a brother in San Francisco that you set up with a life-partner a long time ago. They told me about you. You don’t seem to operate outside the San Francisco area. Do you have any ideas for me to find a girlfriend? I am 19 years old, and always knew that I’m a lesbian. But I just never did anything about it. I got legal emancipation from my parents three years ago because my parents have troubles. So my first priority was to get two feet on the ground. I’m very mature for my age. I could be with a woman any age under 40. I work as an auto mechanic, and make good money. I own my own home here in Duluth. It would sure be great to share it with the right woman. How can I find her? –Marjorie from Minnesota via letter
Dear Marjorie: How lovely to hear from you. You are an example how some very good adults can come from homes that many not have been so great. I contacted a client of mine who is a resident of Minnesota, and also has a home in Oakland, California. He refers you to:
Aurora Lesbian Center
Building For Women
32 East First Street
Duluth, MN 55802
(218) 722-4903
I envision you well, happy, and matched right, my dear one. Give yourself a window of a few years to find the right match.
Dear Dale: I am a gay man born and raised in San Francisco. I am 61 years old, and never came out. I was married for 40 years. I loved my wife because she was my best friend, even though we stopped having sex after our two children were born. She died of brain cancer late last year. I heard of you through two gentlemen who belong to my neighborhood association. You introduced them eight years ago. Where do I begin? If I am too old, then I need to know that so I can stop tormenting myself with these thoughts of being with another man. I am not a bar person. I don’t even like going to the Castro area because it depresses me to think about what I have missed my whole life. –Peter via email from San Francisco
Dear Peter: I am very sorry for the loss of your wife, whom you obviously loved very much. The one best first step that you can take is to enroll into therapy. In my twelve years of practice as a matchmaker, there are three therapists in San Francisco that I have come to respect greatly:
Tom Moon, MSW
879 – 14th Street
San Francisco, CA 94114
(415) 626-1346
Jamie Moran, LCSW
425 Gough Street
San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 552-9408
Scott Wirth, PhD
4216 – 18th Street
San Francisco, CA 94114
(415) 621-8449
Interview with each, and determine which is the right fit for you. After a year of therapy, come and visit with me. I certainly have wonderful clients within an appropriate age range for you. The short answer to your question is “No, Peter. You are not too old to meet a man.” You just need some time to transition and prepare first.
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